May 2, 2018
I’m in the process of trying to learn how to have increasingly better conversations.
And one thing I realized is that in the beginning, all you want to do is talk about yourself.
But as you practice asking the other person about themselves and going deeper as they give each answer, with true curiosity and wonder, people will tell you SUCH INTERESTING THINGS!!
You learn so much, and the conversations are so peculiar and ‘real’ if I may use that word, that you totally forget about yourself.
I don’t mean to insinuate that I’m trying to poke for secrets or anything, I’m just forgetting about myself, focusing on the other person and keeping them engaged, then suddenly they unconsciously sense my authentic curiosity and open up on another level.
As Matt Mullenweg Of WordPress says “If you’re having a conversation that’s boring, the problem is with you.”
Everyone is interesting, you just have to be genuinely interested in them and ask questions.
I consider these “generous conversations” because you’re being generous by focusing on the other person and not yourself, and they’re being generous by being authentic with you.
And of course if they ask questions, I’ll answer as well.
But we all live such unique, quirky lives’ there is no one who has a life that is ‘boring.’
Have generous conversations.