July 18, 2019
There’s a really cool rule called “absorbing the annoyances.”
What it says is that if you do something that annoys me: bite your nails loudly or eat food in a peculiar way or turn the pages of a book in a weirdly irritating way it’s my duty to get over it, not your duty to change.
It was invented by men who were prisoners of war in a very tight room, and they set this rule because they knew otherwise they would kill each other from the constant petty annoyances.
Maybe it isn’t always applicable back in “normal” life but let’s say you follow it 75% of the time, your relationships would be much better.
Your girlfriend says “what?” to a lot of the things you say….let it go.
Your boss clicks his pen obsessively….let it go
Your friend texts you way too much….let it go
Once in awhile you can let people know they’re annoying you, but for the most part “absorbing the annoyances” is the better choice because you’ll grow stronger and be able to deal with more & more petty annoyances, and again, your relationships will be better.
But when you do end up mentioning to someone that something they’re doing is annoying you, put it on yourself “hey I’m like totally weird about people clicking pens, I’m sorry to be crazy but ever since a kid it bothered me, I hate to ask you but could you not do that?”
It instantly makes them feel better because you’re putting it on you, not them.
But only allow yourself to do that like 25% of the time.